Heroes and Heroines Live Action Roleplay (Larp/LRP)

25 Lepria, 8972 Ta

Source: JJ

Howdy, I don’t know rightly how I’m supposed to write one of these here things but ill give it my darndest attempt, as Grammy McCarthy used to say faint heart never fucked no pig. We was given these little necklace things by some friendly oakwoods guys after we tole them all stuff bout ourselves, they was  our passes to get past the other oakwoods guys if they were asked for, and then we started down the road but there were some awful unfriendly undead type things on the road being all aggressive and grumbly. They were very onpleasant and did a fair bit of damage to the group I was in which was full of lovely people. I would say they were a testament to the protectorate but I reckon over half of us wernt even from there. Anyhoo we got to safety and there was all the high ups and such, there was a real lovely lady who was a high priestess and she sure were pretty. And there was a nice brown fella called Mr Delco who was ever so friendly and nice if a little shouty. I also met a real nice guy called Mr Valeth who did all kind o magic stuff and even had a connection to the evil sphere jus like me. He gave me some lovely protections and whatnot. We was tole to be a trouble shooting team and that we was not as good as the other teams what was full of heroes and stuff like that. So the first thing what we asked to do was to find a tiger and get its skin from it, which seemed mighty onfriendly but I cant be understanding what these druidic types get up to, so we said we would do that and we was also supposed to keep an eye out for Sti Gyans who might be in the area as well as findin out what were drivin these here naughty militia. In the mornin we was awoken by Krampus who tole us a group o people was all down stairs and astealin our belongins, they was them Sti Gyan types and they was looking all purty in their magenta dresses like. They tried to sell us back our own stuff an thangs which was mighty ballsy o them but we killeded them and took it back anyhow. The we did go out exploring in the oakwoods and there was an old man who touched Mr Frosty and made him all strange inside,  an there was more undead and odd little squeaky thangs what did hurt you and then do nice to you in a quick turnabout like. We met a lil man who did say he wanted to be part o the protectorate and that he’d take us to his fellas and we had to go past some oakwoods types an they  was most professional at letting us all through on account of how surprisinly not a one of us had lost or sold our lil badges. The we met up with the Strongarm fella who was the boss o this particoola group of militia types and there was a story teller man there too who tole everyone a mighty fine story about some special trees although I did think it were not jus a story but one o them alle gore ical tales what you think is about one thing but really is telling you what to do. The militia types wore all fired up after hearing the story and went off all crazy like to find a magic axe to cut down the magic trees and make all the undead come out, even tho we was a tellin them it was a powerful bad idea. So we convinced em to wait until midnight an we would do some research an meet em by the tree an tell em what we had found out.  On our journey back we come across a naughty fella wearing a pretty black dress with a skull on it who I was informed was from the cult of the severed soul. He was not the friendliest and took on quite aggressive like with us. Then we had some food, I personally enjoyed some of McCarthy and Spencers finest porcine product which I was sharin with the group as well as some snacks back at the base. There were the high ups back including a might nice fella called Mr Hawkeye who did us all a powerful good amount of healin and power gifting, even to me and Mr Obsydian who are connected to the evil sphere  Once we were all powered up and full o vigour we went out and gosh darn it if we didn’t find the damn tiger. I was as surprised as you that the thing wore real, I though the druid had made it up in his lil head! Anyway it were a powerful annoying opponent being a fast and scratchy like and also on account of its being accompanied by some wolves who’s howling did fair scare the pants off us, but in the end we got it dead and took its skin for the Druid. We was charged with finding the story man and bringing him back with us to the base for the high ups to question on account of his fomenting chaos and naughty behaviour and he was a willin to come back with us but powerful annoyed also, he still did a healing on our group and bringing peoples back from the dead which were very impressive for a storyman. When we got him back he was full on angry and swole up with aggression like a cornered hog, and he went off somewhere to answer some questions when there was a mighty ruckus and we found all the question peoples either injured or dead as it turned out he wernt no story man at all he was a heepath. After that I think we had some victuals which unfortunately were not porcine in nature and discussed our thoughts with Mr Delco on account of how he was our boss. We tole him about the meeting and also about how we was powerful afraid that the militia types might be after choppin the magic trees down and he said it were mighty impotent that we didn’t let that happen and that the druid man would tree shift us to close to the tree so we could go protect it from them there militia. So the druid moved us there and I must say I’m mighty impressed we ended up where we was supposed to be as I don’t think he was entirely in his rightest of minds. We proceeded to the tree and settled in ready to defend it. The militia types turned up with their Mr Armstrong but we successfully convinced him and his fellas to leave the tree alone on account of the story teller riling em up intentionally and all. We was all about congratulating ourselves for being smart when a Mr Jack ran out of the woods a screaming and a carryin on. He said that the heepath called Disco had bonded with the dark son what was trapped by the trees and was now an undead heepath (although I may have misheard him on account of all the screaming and carrying on) and then was saw the heepath comin out of them there trees and I swear to you a lil bit of pee came out. Mr Jack tole us to run and well we dint need a tellin twice. We took off as fast as we could but there was a group of the undead on the road we was takin! We ran and fought as best we could with Mr Butch doing powerful good work not allowin us to die and fought the zombies and shadey things as best we could but mostly we was a runnin from the heepath who I was tole was powerful angry and well, just damn powerful as well. When we got back to the base there was a ward being put in place to stop anything attached to the n-word sphere passin it and we had to assist Mr Delco in defending it while we was a waitin on the priest finishing his cast. We done our best and the priest finished just in time an the heepath was a stuck on the other side with his undead things but he was a powerful cajoling to Mr Obsydian an fair convinced him to be all naughty like but thankfully we got him subdued and then we got to watch a good ole fashioned exorcism with the wailing and screeching. We wore all a bit tired by this point but we was tole that we was the only group what had done their job and not ended up dead so we was very impressed with ourselves. We slept and in the morning the druid tole us that he was after healing the tree that the other group had almost stopped from getting a chopped down, it were only halfway chopped. So we got ourselves ready and we went out to do our duty. The tree was powerful sick spewing out all this purple stuff what were painful when you touched it and then there was a butt ton of undeads attacking trying to stop the druid from fixin the tree. Despite all this we was successful in our fixin and now two of the trees o life a standing tall.  I hope my reportin is ok and that I didn’t mess up the things what happened too much. Thanks  JJ McCarthy